Let’s be honest—being angry is exhausting. It’s physically and emotionally exhausting. In the moment, you might not notice it but after you’ve calmed down, after what you’ve said and done has taken effect, it’s exhausting.
You don’t want to be angry anymore.
To start on a road to less anger, try these 3 basic anger management skills.
1. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. This anger management skill requires a little bit of practice. (Try practicing when you are not angry. The heat of the moment is NOT the time to practice a new skill.) Negative thinking leads to more angry feelings. The more positive you can be, the more likely you won’t be quick to get angry. This anger management skill is mostly a matter of reframing your thoughts. Try looking at a given situation from someone else’s perspective and you’ll find it easier to change your negative thoughts to positive ones.
Instead of: “That jerk just cut me off.”
Replace your thought with: “That was close. At least I’m safe.”
Instead of: “I hate my boss. He always makes me work overtime.”
Replace your thought with: “My boss must really trust me to do this job right if he’s asking me to put in so much overtime.”
2. Get your anger out physically. I know it sounds like it won’t work as an anger management skill, but physical exercise can actually go a long way in helping you manage your anger. Start a daily exercise routine. Include cardio as well as weight lifting. While weightlifting may be more appealing to really push your body to the max, cardio can really help you work out some of your anger. If daily exercising doesn’t fit with your schedule, get a punching bag or punch a pillow.
3. Surround yourself with positive people. It’s easy to be angry when you’re surrounded by negative, condescending people. If everyone around you always complains, then you’ll be more likely to see the negatives around you. If you’re surrounded by people who cut each other down and are condescending to others, then you’ll see the world through a negative perspective. Furthermore, if you’re the butt end of the jokes or the one that others are putting down, then being around those people doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, making you all the more angry.
On the other hand, if you surround yourself with positive people, you will begin to see the world in a more positive light. If you’re around people who are nice to each other and caring for others, then you’ll feel better about yourself and your world. And it’s easier to manage your anger if you feel better about yourself.
This anger management skill may mean you need to make significant changes in your life and your personal relationships. If you’re work environment is negative, if your boss is condescending, then you might need to look for a new job or even a new career. If your friends find humor in putting each other down and making fun of each other, then you may need to seek out new friends.
If you’re struggling with controlling your anger and would like help from a trained Anger Management Counselor, read more about our Anger Management Counseling services today!